THURSDAY, JUNE 24th, 2010 - "There is no such thing as fun for the whole family" - Jerry Seinfeld

FRIDAY, JUNE 25th, 2010 - Haida Style Beaver Carving - to find out details go to- info@linkingboomers.com

SUNDAY, JUNE 27th, 2010 - Join us for morning worship, 10:30 am - Rev. Matt McKay leading. THIS IS THE LAST SUNDAY MORNING UNTIL SEPTEMBER. We begin Wednesday evening services June 30th, 2010.

SUNDAY, JUNE 27th, 2010 - A fun summer celebration on the Beach & a great cause - Balmy Beach Club, 1:00 - 6:00 pm - Tickets $10.00 in advance or $15.00 at the door. For infor visit: beachesliving.ca/letsbeach

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 30th, 2010 - Beaches Summer Worship - 6:30 children's time, service begins at 7:00pm POT LUCK DINNER at 5:30 pm

THURSDAY, JULY 1st, 2010 - Beaches Lions Canada Day Family Festival, noon - 6:00 pm Kew Gardens Canada Day Fireworks Display - 9:30 pm Ashbridges Bay Park

NOTE: The Property Committee would like to "fix" up the back entrance over the summer by painting the area. However, we have used up our Property Budget with the furnace. So, we need to raise some funds and thought we could have another "penny drive". We have been successful with raising money with pennies in the past. So, please bring your pennies and help us paint. "Pennies for Paint" has a nice ring to it.

MISSION CAPSULES: Our gifts to Presbyterians Sharing ... support Grace Presbyterian Church in Upper Tantallon, Nova Scotia. The children who attended last summer's vacation bible school began raising money to support a "Gifts of Change" project in Malawi. Rev. Sara Macavei-Katocz writes, "It was amazing to see children bringing in coins and bigger paper bills. One small five-year-old boy asked his parents if he could take money from his monthly allowance, saved to buy model cars. He chose a $20.00 bill. When he was told that this was quite a large sum, one that would buy him many cars, he was simply very pleased that he was in the position to offer such a lot of support to needy children. What a blessing to lead little childen in the service and worship of the Lord!"

FOR YOUR INFORMATION: A paramedic found that when he went to accidents, there were always cell phones with patients but no indication who to call in an emergency. He thought it would be a good idea if there was a nationally recognized code for this purpose. In an emergency, personnel and hospital staff would be able to quickly contact the right person. He suggested that we all use the term "ICE" (In case of emergency) enter in your cell phone listings. For more than one contact name simply enter ICE1, ICE2 etc. A great idea that will make a difference.

TUESDAY, JULY 6th, 2010 - "Tuesdays at Fallingbrook - July 6 to August 31 - 7:30 pm. July 6th, The Lost Pilgrims Musical Ministry. July 13th - Rev. Karen Bach, Yonge Street Mission.


MORE QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME!

What disease did cured ham have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still a "Hearing"?

Why are you IN a movie but you're ON TV?

Have a good week - MB

THURSDAY, JUNE 17th, 2010 - " Why do you always leave your brussels sprouts until the last?" "Sigh, I am just delaying the inedible...."!

FRIDAY, JUNE 18th, 2010 - Linda Seiler and Debbie Murray will be at the church this evening from 7:00 - 9:00 to organise "stuff" for the sale, and to receive baked goods, and anything else you might want to donate.

In preparation for spring and summer, and the ramp, Matt, Will and Shane have been busy painting more of the trim on the outside of our building ......

SATURDAY, JUNE 19th, 2010 - BEACHES LAWN SALE - IT IS NOT GOING TO RAIN!! 9:00 - 1:00 Please come out and help. Shane Taylor worked very hard this week to cut the grass, so it is much more presentable!

SUNDAY, JUNE 20th, 2010 - Join us for morning worship - this Sunday and next are the last two Sunday services - our Wednesday evening services begin June 30th. Today is Father's Day.

Later the same day - "Through the Garden Gate "The Beach" tour" - $35.00 - $40.00

MONDAY, JUNE 21st, 2010 - First day of summer!!

OF INTEREST! Check out the show of photographs at the Beaches Library - you will not be disappointed.

The Boarding Homes Ministry - one of our longest running ministries at Beaches - they are holding their annual BBQ. This is a real treat for the men and is a highlight for their year. In the past, members of the congregation have helped out by preparing salads for this event and they would appreciate this kind of help again this year. Mary Rae Shantz can pick up any food donations on Sunday at church. Thank you.

SATURDAY, JUNE 26th, 2010 - 10:00 am - 2:00 pm - Sale of Used Music at St. John's Norway Anglican Church.

THURSDAY, JULY 1st, 2010 - Canada Day Family Festival, noon - 6:00 pm in Kew Gardens - Fireworks Display at Ashbridges Bay Park - after 9:30 pm

MISSION CAPSULES: Presbyterians Sharing ... supports Dr. Bill McKelvie, a physician working in various medical ministries with the Diocese of Hyderabad, Church of Pakistan. Bill writes; "There has been a cure for TB for more than 50 years. Yet, every year, 1.5 million people die of this disease. Millions more are disabled and impoverished. The cure is there, but it requires more than just handing out drugs. It requires getting close to people and finding out what their needs are." Like those with leprosy, TB patients often feel ashamed of having the disease. For many, it is problematic to take their medication or to complete their treatment once it has begun. The TB program is working to ensure that patients take their medicine and complete their treatment. Since the program began, cure rates have risen to almost 90%. Let us pray for Bill as he works to provide hope and healing for people suffering from TB.


QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME! (these smack of George Carlin)

Can you cry under water?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in" but it's only "a penny for your thoughts"? Where is that extra penny going?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Once your are in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

Have a good week and don't forget the lawn sale - MB

FRIDAY, JUNE 11th, 2010 - - "Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie!" .... David Mamet

SATURDAY, JUNE 12th, 2010 - Beaches Lawn Sale - things for sale can be dropped off at the church tonight (Friday) between 7:00 and 9:00. We need goodies for the Bake sale, and people to help - help sell, help set up, help take down, help do whatever.

SATURDAY, JUNE 12 - SUNDAY JUNE 13th, 2010 - Beaches Arts and Crafts Show, 10:00 am - 6:00 pm at Kew Gardens Park

SUNDAY, JUNE 13th, 2010 - Join us for morning worship - Rev. Matt McKay leading. We will celebrate new membership again this Sunday.

SATURDAY, JUNE 19th, & SUNDAY, JUNE 20th, 2010 - Beach Rib Fest 10:00 am - 8:00 pm Woodbine Park

BEACH GARDEN TOUR - 11:00 am - 4:00 pm Beaches area.

MONDAY, JUNE 21st, 2010 - The Boarding Homes Ministry will be hosting our annual BBQ. This is a treat for the men, and is a highlight for the year. In the past members of the congregation have helped out by preparing salads for this event and we would very much appreciate this kind of help again this year. Mary Rae Shantz will pick up any food donations on Sunday, June 20th at church. Thank you. MRS

MISSION CAPSULES: Our gifts to Presbyterians Sharing ... have sent Jim and Ann Young to serve in Grenada. Jim is minister at Belair Presbyterian Church. Ann is teaching English and Math at MacDonald College, a secondary school of the Presbyterian Church in Grenada and working at Belair Primary School as part of a literacy test program. Jim writes, "Belair Presbyterian Church is a source of delight, challenge and community to us. We are part of a happy, healthy worshipping community. God is good." As Jim and Ann work with this worshipping community to reach out to the broader community on the island, they find a growing source of encouragement, care and understanding. They ask us to pray for God's abundance to continue to surround their work in Grenada.


More one liners:

The Will of God never takes you to where the Grace of God will not protect you.

We don't change the message - the messae changes us!

The task ahead of us is never as great as the power behind us.

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain!

Have a good week. MB

FRIDAY, JUNE 4th, 2010 - "There are no shortcuts to any place worth going" Beverly Sills.

SATURDAY, JUNE 5th, 2020 - "Spring Fest" at Birchcliff Bluffs United Church, Kingston & Warden, 8:30 - 12:30 - Baked goods, plants, books, toys, face painting, BBQ, gently used household items. Please bring your own bags.

AND at Beaches - Painting day - outside window frames and The Cross will be painted during the morning hours - 9:00 - 12:00 - please come and help.

AND - It is the annual Community Environment Day.

SUNDAY, JUNE 6TH, 2010 - Join us for a wonderful service of welcome and fellowship. We will celebrate new members - please plan to be there. Rev. Matt McKay leading.

3:00 pm - "Stage Song" a concert by the East York Choir at Eastminster United Church, 310 Danforth Avenue, near the Chester Subway Station. $20.00, Seniors $15.00, Students $10.00

SATURDAY, JUNE 12th, 2010 - Beaches Lawn Sale - 9:00 am - noon. Please think about what you might donate in the way of books, household items or something for the bake table. Drop off at the church most mornings or Friday evening, June 11th. We will also need people to work the sale, people to set up and take down after the event - if you can help in any way, please call Debbie Murray or Linda Seiler.

SUNDAY, JUNE 13th, 2010 - 7:00 - 8:30pm - Bonar-Parkdale Presbyterian Church, 250 Dunn Avenue (Queen Street West) present "I Will Rise" featuring the Wesley United Methodist Church Youth Choir of Illinois. Pay what you can.
SATURDAY, JUNE 19th, 2010 - Continuing their 50th Anniversary Concert Series, Guildwood Community Presbyterian Church welcomes the Victoria Scholars, alumni of St. Michael's Choir School. 8:00 pm

MISSION CAPSULES: Our gifts to Presbyterians Sharing ... are helping St. Andrew's Presbyterian Church in Maple, Ontario reach out to the many people who call Vaughan home. The beautiful heritage building was built in 1862 by a congregation made up mostly of immigrants and their descendants. Today the church brings together people from many different countries, all sharing a common love for God. The congregation is warm and hospitable, reaching out to the community in many ways. Let us pray for St. Andrew's as it shares the love of God within it's community.


One liners !!

The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but, mosquitoes come close!

When you get to your wit's end, you'll find God lives there!

People are funny; they want the front of the bus, the middle of the road and the back of the church!

God doesn't call the qualified - He qualifies the called!

God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage!
v Have a good week - MB

FRIDAY, MAY 28th, 2010 - It's almost JUNE - cottage time, garden time, outdoor living time, Wednesday night services time!! Enjoy.

Preview of "The Human Experience" an incredible film that has won over 30 awards at Film Festivals. Dante Alighieri High School is hosting this film as their 5th Faith Day. Dante Alighieri Academy, 60 Playfair Avenue, 7:00 pm - tickets $10.00

SATURDAY, MAY 29th, 2010 - Join us for the Garden Digging Day - 9:00 am - 12:00. Bring gloves, tools and be prepared to dig.

Doors Open Toronto - Beach Walking Tour - 10:00 am and 1:00 pm - meet up at the Beach Library, Queen and Lee.

SUNDAY, MAY 30th, 2010 - Join us for worship at 10.30 am - Rev. Matt McKay leading. Following the service we will gather again for our 50 Great Days. Bring your lunch and spend an interesting hour with us.

NOTE: For all of you who have silver and have to polish it - a year ago I wrote about the wonders of WD40. One of which suggested that if you put it on your silver after polishing and let it dry, the silver would not tarnish. So I tried it on a tray that sits on my coffee table. I have not had to polish it since - I will have to soon but that's not bad. I have since tried it on brass.

SATURDAY, JUNE 5th, 2010 - Community Environmental Day - you can, purchase backyard composters, Green Bins, Rain Barrels. Drop off for recycling or disposal - Computer Equipment and Peripherals, Audio/Visual Equipment, as well as Hazardous Waste....(cleaning supplies and solvents, motor oil, paint, batteries, old/unused mercury thermometers/thermostates, pesticides, fluorescent bulbs, propane tanks ETC! My information does not give a location for this event - Go to beachesliving.ca or info@beachesliving.ca

MISSION CAPSULES: Our gifts to Presbyterians Sharing ... support David Pandy-Szekeres as he works with the Reformed Church of Sub-Carpathian Ukraine (RCCU), a church of ethnic Hungarians in Ukraine. As Supervisor of External Missions, David helps to post RCCU missionaries to mission fields and supervises their work. As Director of Schools, David co-ordinates four Christian secondary schools that are renowned for their high academic standards and Christian teachings. Let us pray for David as he uses his gifts to help the RCCU continue it's mission and ministry in the Ukraine.

SUNDAY, JUNE 6th, 2010 - The East York Choir present a concert at 3:00 pm, Eastminster United Church, Danforth Avenue at the Chester Subway. Musical favourites from the world of Opera and Musical Theatre. www.eastyorkchoir.ca

NOTE: We are looking for volunteers to provide and/or assist with musical accompaniment for our Wednesday evening services. Please contact Don Anderson or Matt McKay.

SUNDAY, JUNE 13th, 2010 - A concert - 7:00 pm - 8:30 pm - BonarParkdale Presbyterian Church, 250 Dunn Avenue, (Queen Street West). Join us for an eclectic evening of traditional, gospel, contemporary and praise music featuring the talents of the Jubilation Choir, Exaltation Choir and Celebration Ringers hand bell choir. Pay what you can.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 23rd, 2010 - 7:00 pm at Trinity-St. Paul's Centre, 427 Bloor Street, West, (west of Spadina) "Turtle House Art/Play Centre" presents "Open to the World - A Musical Journey" first annual fundraising concert. Turtle House is a not-for-profit organization. A small but unique art based group primarily for children and families from refugee backgrounds. Three of our Fonseca boys attended programs at Turtle House.


Last but not Least! After Christmas, a teacher asked her young students how they spent their holidays away from school. One child wrote the following.

We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They used to live in a big house but Grandpa got retarded and they moved to Arizona. Now they live in a tin house and have rocks painted green to look like grass. They ride around on their bicycles and wear name tags because they don't know who they are anymore. They go to a building called a wreck center, but they must have got it fixed because it is okay now. They do exercises there but they don't do them very well. There is a swimming pool too but they all jump up and down in it with hats on. At their gate, there is a doll house with a little old man sitting in it. He watches all day so nobody can escape. Sometimes they sneak out and go cruising in their golf carts. Nobody there cooks, they just eat out, and they eat the same thing every night - early birds. Some of the people can't get out past the man in the doll house. The ones who do get out, bring food back to the wrecked center for pot luck. My Grandma says that Grandpa worked all his life to earn his retardment and says I should work hard so I can be retarded someday too...

Have a good week - MB

FRIDAY, MAY 21st, 2010 - If you are looking for something different this weekend - there will be a "Teen Idol Contest" at the Dunnville Secondary School - dunnvilleteenidol@hotmail.com .

SUNDAY, MAY 23rd, 2010 - We celebrate Pentacost - join us at 10.30 for morning worship - Rev. Matt Mckay leading. Please wear something Red, Orange or Yellow!

MONDAY, MAY 24th, 2010 - Victoria Day and if you are in the city, or back in the city, Fireworks at Ashbridges Bay 9:30 pm - Ashbridges Bay Park, Coxwell and the Lakeshore.

SATURDAY, MAY 29th, 2010 - Join us for a "Garden Digging Day" at the church. Please bring garden tools, a wheelbarrow if you have one,and if you can, a bag of potting soil for our pots. There will be a load of topsoil delivered and it will have to be moved to the new beds on Avion. 9:00 - 12:00 For information call Elizabeth Adam, Heather Crisp or Debbie Murray.

10:00 am - 1:00 pm Doors Open Toronto - Beach Walking Tour. Meet up at the Beaches Library, Queen & Lee Avenue.

SATURDAY, JUNE 5th, 2010 - Beach United Church, 140 Wineva Avenue, continue their Jazz Vespers Series with David Occhipinti and Mike Murley, guitar and saxophone at 4:30 pm

SUNDAY, JUNE 6th, 2010 - The East York Choir presents "Stage Song" at 3:00 pm Eastminster United Church, 310 Danforth Avenue, (Chester subway) for information www.eastyorkchoir.ca

NOTE: Most of us stay after morning worship for a coffee, a treat and a chat to someone interesting! These "after church" morsels are provided by four teams of members - mostly women - who could use your help. For more information contact Elisabeth Grant. You might consider bringing some milk or cream, some cookies, whatever. The teams provide this service for a month at a time.

MISSION CAPSULES: Our gifts to Presbyterians Sharing ... support the Reverend Glenn Inglis as he serves as the Executive Director of the Blantyre Synod Development Commission. He helps the Commission develop livelihoods in three of the poorest districts in southern Malawi; community based child care programs; and HIV program focusing on prevention and home based care; and human rights, gender and advocacy programs. It also provides food and support in times of emergency. Glenn is working to strengthen the Synod's relief and development programs, develop sound management and accounting systems, promote leadership development and strengthen and renew relations with partners and donors.

SATURDAY JUNE 12th, 2010 - Beaches Lawn Sale. 9:00 am - noon. Please think about what you might donate in the way of books, household items or something for the bake table. Drop off at the church most mornings or Friday evening June 11th. We will need people to work the sale, people to set up and take down after the event......if you can help in any way please call Debbie Murray or Linda Seiler for details.


MORE FROM THE STUDENT'S EXAMS:

Q. Steve is driving his car. He is travelling at 60feet/second and the speed limit is 40 mph. Is Steve speeding?
A. He could find out by checking his speedometer!

Q. Give a reason why people would want to live near power lines.
A. You get your electricity faster!

Q. What is a vibration?
A. There are good vibrations and bad vibrations. Good vibrations were discovered in the 1960's!

Q. Where was Hadrian's Wall built?
A. Around Hadrian's garden!

Q. The race of people known as Malays come from which country?
A. Malaria!!!

Have a great weekend and a good week. MB

THURSDAY, MAY 13th, 2010 - If you aarew out an about this weekend you might catch Astrid Young & Friends at the Roselawn Centre, Port Colborne - 905-834-0833.

FRIDAY, MAY 14th, 2010 - Small Paintings for Small Spaces. 1:00 - 9:00 pm; Saturday & Sunday 10:00 - 5:00 p.m. The Kew Park Gardeners' Cottage.

SATURDAY, MAY 15th, 2010 - The Scarborough Philharmonic Celebrates 30 Years! Concert at Birchmount Park High School, 3663 Danforth Avenue, 8:00 pm - tickets $30.00, Seniors $25.00, Youth $10.00 - for information 416-429-0007

SUNDAY, MAY 16th, 2010 - Join us for worship at 10.30 a.m. - Rev. Matt McKay leading. Following worship we will hold a short, congregational meeting to discuss our budget. At our Annual General Meeting in February we had to make some very serious decisions regarding the budget and at that time decided to revisit the subject on May 16th. AND following the meeting, we gather to continue with our series The Great 50 Days. A time of rebirth and renewal.

SATURDAY, MAY 22nd, 2010 - Beach Garden Society Annual Plant Sale. 9:00 am - 11:30 am Adam Beck Community Centre.

MISSION CAPSULES: Our gifts to Presbyterians Sharing ... support Winnipeg Inner City Missions (WICM). WICM is located in what is said to be one of the toughest neighbourhoods in Canada, where crime and violence in the streets is escalating. Within this environment, WICM operates a weekly food bank and thrift store, provides employment training and transitional housing and distributes emergency food, personal hygiene supplies, bedding and towels to those who need them. Executive Director Rev. Margaret Mullin writes, "Providing for people's basic survival needs put us in contact with many people in need. As we get to know them and they learn to trust us, we get invited into their lives." Let us pray for WICM as it provides light and hope to people in inner-city Winnipeg.

SATURDAY, MAY 29th, 2010 - Please mark your calendars for a Garden Diggin Day at Beaches. We need people to dig a flower bed along the church wall on Avion to prepare for planting. 9:00 am - 12:00 - Speak to Heather Crisp or Elizabeth Adam.


MORE FROM THE EXAM PAPERS:

Q. What is a fibula?
A. A little lie!

Q. Explain the phrase "free press".
A. When your mum irons trousers for you!

Q. Why would living close to a mobile phone mast cause ill health?
A. You might walk into it!

Q. Joanna works in an office. Her computer is a stand-alone system. What is a stand-alone computer system?
A. It doesn't come with a chair!

Have a good week - MB

THURSDAY, MAY 6th, 2010 - If you are out and about this weekend, you might check out, "Wisperin Bill Anderson - A Night with a Legend! Meaford, Ontario - 1-877-538-0463

FRIDAY, MAY 7th, 2010 - Spring Rummage Sale, Fallingbrook Presbyterian Church, 5:30 - 8:00 Saturday, 9:00 am - noon.

SATURDAY, MAY 8th, 2010 - St. John's Norway Church, Woodbine & Kingston Road - Spring Rummage Sale 10:00 am till they are done.

SUNDAY, MAY 9th, 2010 - MOTHER'S DAY. Join us for worship at 10.30 am - we will celebrate communion, Rev. Matt McKay leading. Following worship, join us for another in "The Great 50 Days" series. Bring your lunch and plan to spend an hour exploring Christian faith and the Presbyterian Church.

MISSION CAPSULES: Through Presbyterian Sharing ... we support Presbyterian volunteers who contribute their time, energy and expertise to help Justice Ministries bring the gospel message of peace and justice to the world. Justice Ministries gratefully acknowledges volunteers involved in KAIROS: Canadian Ecumenical forums and workshops on economic justice, biotechnology, environmental stewardship, healing and reconciliation between Aboriginal and non-Aboriginal Peoples, and proverty reduction. Through Presbyterians Sharing, we support Justice Ministries and Presbyterians who "do justice, love kindness, and walk humbly with ..........God".

FOR YOUR INFORMATION: As you know, the Building Committee has been working toward the building of a wheelchair ramp, for some time. Well, we are happy to report that we are close. The permits have been applied for, the design has been approved and it will soon be a reality. More news to be announced.

Elizabeth Adam, Heather Crisp and Debbie Murray are working toward some plantings to improve the general look of the building once the ramp is a reality. To begin this process, we need some volunteers to dig a garden along the south wall of the building on Avion, to prepare for planting. SATURDAY, MAY 29th, 2010 - 9:00 am - 12:00 Please join in, bring a spade or garden shovel, hand tools and hard rakes. Any shrubs that need moving can be moved at that time. Our neighbours have donated some terra cotta pots which will need potting soil. If anyone can donate a bag or four of potting soil that would help. (not top soil) For info: talk to Elizabeth Adam.

AND ANOTHER THING -- before the ramp is built it might be time to consider continuing the painting of the window frames and The Cross, while there is still room to work. If you are interested in helping paint. contact Matt.

SATURDAY, MAY 15th, 2010 - 7:30 pm - Tickets $20.00 - Concert of English Handbells, featuring the Bells of Guildwood, and soloist Heather Keith.

SUNDAY, MAY 16th, 2010 - Following morning worship there will be a congregational meeting to follow-up on the Budget set at the Annual General Meeting.


MORE FROM THE EXAM PAPERS:

Q. What happens during puberty to a boy?
A. He says goodbye to his childhood and enters adultery!

Q. State three drawbacks of hedgerow removal.
A. All the cows will escape; The cars drive into the fields; There is nowhere to hide!

Q. What is the meaning of the word "varicose"?
A. Close by.

Q. What is the highest frequency noise that a human can register?
A. Mariah Carey!

Have a good week. MB

FRIDAY, APRIL 30th, 2010 - If you are out and about this weekend you could check out the Maple Festival and All that Jazz in Bowmanville www.bowmanville.com OR Model Train Auction in Wasaga Beach 705-429-2762 or not!

SATURDAY, MAY 1st, 2010 - Jazz Vespers Series - 4:30 pm - Featuring Jen Sagar Quartet with Jake Wilkinson, Lee Wallace and Jon Meyer. Beach United Church, 140 Wineva Avenue, 416-691-8082

SUNDAY, MAY 2nd, 2010 - Join us for morning worship at 10:30 am - Rev. Matt McKay leading. Following worship, we will enjoy the third in the series "Great 50 Days: bring your lunch and join us for an hour. All welcome.

SUNDAY, MAY 2nd, 2010 - 7:30 pm - Jazz Choral Celebration of Earth Week - 975 Kingston Road.

FRIDAY, MAY 7th and SATURDAY, MAY 8th, 2010 - Spring Rummage Sale, at Fallingbrook Presbyterian, 416-699-3084 - Friday, 5:00 - 8:00 pm, Saturday 9:00 am - noon.

TUESDAY, MAY 11th, 2010 - Green Cafe Film Night - 7:00 - 8:30 at Upper Beach Cafe, 1917 Gerrard Street, East, one block west of Woodbine, south side. Free screening of "The Power of Community: How Cuba Survived Peak Oil" Join in the discussion on creating a more local low-energy society. To reserve a seat - spargy@rogers.com or 416-693-9276 - organized by the East Toronto Climate Action Group.

FRIDAY, MAY 14th, 2010 - Small Paintings for Small Spaces: 1:00 pm - 9:00 pm Saturday & Sunday 10:00 am - 5:00 pm - The Kew Park Gardeners' Cottage.

SATURDAY, MAY 15th, 2010 - Sing into Spring Choral Music Concert - 7:30 pm. Fallingbrook Presbyterian's Choir with special guests. An eclectic mix of traditional and contemporary. 416-699-3084 - www.fallingbrookpresbyterian.com

SUNDAY, MAY 16th, 2010 - Congregational meeting. As discussed at our Annual General Meeting in February, we planned to get together to discuss how we are doing financially. This is important, please bring your lunch and plan to stay for an hour.

MISSION CAPSULES: Our gifts to Presbyterian Sharing ... support Action Refugies Montreal (ARM) which works in solidarity with refugees and refugee claimants in downtown Montreal. ARM facilitates the private sponsorship of refugees to Canada and helps refugees adjust to life in Canada through its twinning program. It also assists refugee claimants held in the Laval immigration detention centre by giving them accurate legal information and ensuring they have access to legal services. Glynis Williams, the ministry's Director, says "We all want to feel that we belong somewhere". Marguerite, a refugee from Burundi who received help from ARM says, "Coming to Canada, I found a family." Let us pray for ARM and the vital ministry it is providing to refugees in Montreal.

NOTE: Last summer we held our weekly worship services on Wednesday evenings as a trial. As it turned out our attendance was higher on Wednesday evenings than in the past summers on Sunday mornings. SO, it has been decided to try it again. We will begin our family services this year at 6:30 and the first one will be June 30th with a Pot Luck picnic dinner.

To this end, we are looking for musicians to volunteer for these services. If you play piano or any other instrument please speak to Don Anderson.


More from our exam blunders:

Q. Name six animals which live specifically in the Arctic.
A. Two polar bears - four seals.

Q. How does Romeo's character develop throughout the play?
A. It doesn't, it's just self, self, self, all the way through!

Q. Name the wife of Orpheus, whom he attempted to save from the underworld.
A. Mrs. Orpheus.

Q. Where was the American Declaration of Independence signed?
A. At the bottom!


Have a good week - MB

FRIDAY, APRIL 23rd, 2010 - If you are out and about this weekend you might want to catch the "Lioness Spring Fling" at Michaels Hall in Dunnville, Ontario. OR The Ganaraska Studio Tour in Port Hope.

SATURDAY, APRIL 24th, 2010 - 9:00 -11:00 am - Please join us for a spring clean of the church. Lots of cobwebs and dust bunnies to be removed and lots of glass to be cleaned. See you there!

SUNDAY, APRIL 26th, 2010 - Join us for morning worship at 10.30 am - Rev. Matt McKay leading. Following worship, our second Sunday of "The Great 50 Days" a time for rebirth and renewal. Bring your lunch and join us for a very interesting hour. Everyone is welcome.

FRIDAY, APRIL 30th, 2010 - Sunday, May 2nd, 2010 - 17th Annual Beach Studio Tour. Friday 6:00 - 9:00 pm Saturday 10:00 am - 6:00 pm and Sunday 11:00 am - 6:00 pm.

SATURDAY, MAY 1st, 2010 - Beach United Church Jazz Vespers Series - 4:30 pm - Jen Sagar Quartet with Jake Wilkinson, Lee Wallace & Jon Meyer, 140 Wineva Avenue, Toronto

MISSION CAPSULES:

Our gifts to Presbyterians Sharing ... support Hummingbird Ministries, a ministry of the Presbytery of Westminister that is dedicated to reconciliation and healing between Canada's Aboriginal People and the Presbyterian Church in Canada. Hummingbird Ministries has started a project called "Peace Through the Arts." Workshops bring people from different backgrounds together to share the experience of a common art form, such as singing, drumming, dancing, carving or quilting. Every workshop begins with a circle of peace, where participants consider what they have in common, give thanks for what they have, and focus on working together for the common good. Let us pray for Hummingbird Ministries as it works to bring about reconciliation and healing through art.


After scouring exam papers and speaking to teachers, humorist Richard Benson has collected the worst student responses in a new book. These are a few:

Q: What is a Nitrate?
A: Much cheaper than a day rate!

Q: What was Sir Walter Raleigh famous for?
A: He is a noted figure in history because he invented cigarettes and started a craze for Bicycles!

Q: What did Mahatma Gandhi and Genghis Khan have in common?
A: Unusual names!

Q: Name one of the early Romans' greatest achievements?
A: Learning to speak Latin!

Have a good week - MB

THURSDAY, APRIL 15th, 2010 - "As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same." Nelson Mandela

Later the same day; 7:00 pm - our last film in the Lenten series. Chocolat, starring Johnny Depp, Dame Judi Dench, Juliette Binoche and Alfred Molina. Join us for a fun evening, and perhaps some Chocolate.

SUNDAY, APRIL 18th, 2010 - Join us for morning worship at 10.30 am - Rev. Matt McKay leading. Following worship we begin a time of discovery together. "The Great 50 Days". You are invited to participate right after church, for approximately one hour, we will explore the Christian faith and the Presbyterian Church.

The program is for: Our Acolytes/people moving toward Confirmation. People interested in moving from "adherent" to "member". People new to the Presbyterian Church and for people who are just interested or curious. Bring your lunch and let's discover together.

TUESDAY, APRIL 20th, 2010 - An evening of poetry and song. Heather Chappell, Vince, Guy Smagghe and Kate Marshall Flaherty. 8:00 pm Free Times Cafe, 320 College Street. www.myspace.com/heatherchappellmusic

SATURDAY, APRIL 24th, 2010 - Beaches Clean-Up Day. It's really the morning - approximately 9:00 - 11:00. Please come out and help us get rid of the dust bunnies, and the cobwebs that are growing. Bring some tools and some energy.

SUNDAY, APRIL 25th, 2010 - 7:30 pm - Music at Glenview presents a Hymnsing/Concert. Performing will be Glenview Choir, St. Clement's Choir, The North Toronto Salvation Army Band and you! Free admission. Reception following concert. visit www.glenviewchurch.ca

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 28th, 2010 - 7:00 pm - "Memories of the Beach: Reflections of a Toronto Childhood" Toronto Public Library. for information info@beachesliving.ca

FRIDAY, APRIL 30th, 2010 - 17th Annual Beach Studio Tour.

MISSION CAPSULES: Our gifts to Presbyterian Sharing ... support Keswick Presbyterian Church. After 12 years of worshipping in a rented space at the Georgina Ice Palace in Keswick, Ontario, the congregation is now delighted to have it's own building. The Reverends Kirk and Allyson MacLeod write, "Keswick Presbyterian Church is now in a facility. We have a lawn to mow, a driveway to plow, and bathrooms to clean. But they are all ours! We now can hold youth events in our own church. We can now have fundraising events in our building. We can now have meetings and choir and worship team practice in our home. But even more, we can welcome new faces to our very own church." The congregation is very grateful for the support it has received from Presbyterians Sharing.

MONDAY, APRIL 26th, 2010 - Tom Allen is hosting a fundraising event in support of the JCC. "Stars on Spadina" 7:30 pm Show and live auction. for information http://www.milesnadaljcc.ca/about-us/fundraising/stars-on-spadina


More about Grandparents:

Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good good things, but I don't get to see him enough to get as smart as him!

My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo and said, "No, how are we alike?" ........ "You are both old" he replied.

Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said the teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked. "Sure." said the young boy, "it means carrying a child."


Have a good week - MB

THURSDAY, APRIL 8th, 2010 - "A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal and the common cold"..... Ogden Nash

SATURDAY, APRIL 10TH, 2010 - Beaches Spring Sprint - Adult start time 9:30 am Children start time 10.20 am - From Munro Park Avenue to Woodbine Avenue, on the Boardwalk.

The Shakespeare Readers read "The Tempest", 2:00 pm - 4:00 pm Beaches Library.

SUNDAY, APRIL 11th, 2010 - Morning worship at 10:30ish! - Rev. Matt McKay leading

MISSION CAPSULES: Our gifts to Presbyterians Sharing ... support the Rev. Ed Hoekstra as he works with the Church of Central Africa Presbyterian as Associate Minister of St. Columba Church in Blantyre, Malawi. Joining the senior minister Rev. Thomas Maseya in ministry, Ed is involved in the pastoral care, officiates at weddings and funerals and leads Bible studies with the synod chaplain at Chichiri prison. Ed writes, "The prisons in Malawi have insufficient resources. The inmates do not receive enough food, soap, toothpaste or clothing. They are lacking in the basics of life. It is a strange feeling to lead a Bible Study having eaten, showered and dressed in decent clothing, when those I am ministering to have none of those things. In my time here as a missionary, I ask, "Who is being transformed?"

THURSDAY, APRIL 15th, 2010 - 7:00 pm - Last movie in the Lenten Film Festival Series - join us for good fun, free popcorn and the movie "Chocolat".

SUNDAY, APRIL 18th, 2010 - The time between Easter and Pentecost is called "The Great 50 Days" and is a time of renewal. During this time of rediscovery, please consider joining us for an hour following morning worship, to explore the Christian faith and the Presbyterian Church. This program will be open to anyone who is interested in learning more about who we are. Bring your lunch and let's discover together.


MORE FROM THE GRANDPARENTS:

When my grandson and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting insects. Still a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights".

When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure......" "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised, "mine says I'm 4 to 6".

A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother. "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she said, "how do you make babies?" "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."

A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck sped by. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties. "They use him to keep crowds back" said one child. "No" said another, "He's just for good luck". A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs", she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants."

Have a good week. MB